Good morning and welcome in today. Today we are going to take a look at a passage of scripture from Ephesians chapter 4.
We are going to discuss a lot of words today and their meanings so bear with me…
What happens when you don’t forgive other people from your heart when they apologize, is it results in bitterness inside your heart. God wants us to put all bitterness away and forgive one another.
Eph 4:31-32
31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
As I have said in the past, I tend to apologize three or four times everyday because I don’t want to be burdened with a debt of sin. I also don’t want to offend others. It doesn’t matter how small or insignificant the offense may seem.
For example, my son doesn’t like a lot of onions cooked in his food. He usually says, Dad I can’t handle this. Don’t put so many onions in it. My response is, I’m sorry. The next time around when I cook, because I care about him, I try to remember not to put too many onions in.
In the Christian faith we are supposed to learn to apologize and to forgive one another. If you can’t do one or the other you’re missing what Jesus teaches us. The Bible is clear that if we simply confess our sins God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins. Jesus wants to lift that sin burden from us. His Mercy towards us shows us how much he cares about us. God cleanses us and washes our sins away.
On the other hand, when somebody sins against you and they repent of their sins and apologize, you need to be able to forgive them from your heart. The result of not forgiving other people who apologize or when they say I repent can result in all kinds of issues. Ultimately it results in a bitter unforgiving heart.
If somebody is unforgiving it means they are not willing to forgive you or to excuse somebody else’s fault or their wrong doing. This goes completely against what Christ taught. Jesus forgives our sins and he expects us to be forgiving with one another.
Matthew 18 21:22
21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
This teaches us how much mercy and Grace is available from our Lord Jesus Christ. If he taught that to Peter then you can understand how forgiving he is with us. We are supposed to be this merciful with other people.
He wants us to be forgiving as he is forgiving. Someone who is unforgiving is not disposed to forgive or to show mercy. They are unrelenting, not allowing for mistakes or misdeeds or carelessness or weaknesses. Before we get into bitterness which actually is a result of unforgiveness, let’s take a look at a group of words that have a lot to do with unforgiveness. These are synonyms.
The word resentful means feeling or expressing bitterness or indignation over having been treated unfairly and when somebody apologizes you simply will not forgive them.
Unforgiveness comes from an uncharitable heart. Uncharitable is unkind and unsympathetic. It does not feel sorry for others. When you’re unforgiving you are avenging. That means that you desire to inflict harm in return for an injury.
What that means is somebody makes a mistake or sins against you in some way and then when they apologize for it and admit their fault you are not going to forgive them. You want to punish them and you try to figure out some way to do it or to get at them. You want payback. That is not the Christian Life. If you avenge a wrong or harmful act you are trying to hurt or punish the person who is responsible for it, by not forgiving them.
God wants us to be forgiving with each other. The road to forgiveness begins by being able to say I’m sorry. Just in that confession is an admission of fault.
Unforgiveness does not want to forgive others who have sinned against them. Look at how forgiving Jesus is with each of us when we confess and admit fault to him. That’s why there’s such dire warnings in the scriptures about an unforgiving spirit.
Another synonym for unforgiveness is retaliatory, which means having an intention to do something harmful or unpleasant to someone because they have done something harmful or unpleasant to you. That’s called returning evil for evil. I’ve had numerous people do all kinds of things to me in my life but when they apologized and said they were sorry I forgave them. If you’re incapable of forgiving it only leads down the road of bitterness. If you are unforgiving it means that you are despiteful. That means that you show malicious ill-will and a desire in your heart to hurt someone else. It is motivated by spite.
An unforgiving person is a malevolent person who deliberately tries to cause harm or evil to somebody else. It has a lot to do with the word malicious which means having or showing a desire to cause harm to somebody else. It’s given to or marked by or rising from maliciousness.
Take for example someone who maliciously gossips about you. The gossip does not arise to benefit or help someone else. The gossip arises because they hate you and desire to punish you. That is not forgiveness and it’s not the way of Christ.
When somebody is unforgiving it can cause them to malign others which means to speak harmful untruths about others or speak evil of others or to slander them or defame or malign them.
When somebody is being spiteful it is showed or caused by malice towards someone else. When you are spiteful, you act in a mean way with a desire to hurt somebody else. That is not Christian charity. If you act or speak with a desire to hurt bother or infuriate someone else you are being spiteful. Revengeful is someone who wants to get even with somebody else who has wronged them.
A lot of times children can be very unforgiving with each other. Even when one child admits wrong and apologizes, the other will seek some sort of revenge. They might retaliate by going outside and kicking over the other child’s snowman.
Those are the works of bitterness and unforgiveness. It’s a desire to want to get even.
In the Christian church we want to put that mentality away. Even some people in the church wanted to go to law with each other. They wanted to go to outside influences rather than coming to people in the church and talking it out with each other. In the church God wants us to keep it all in the family, His family.
When somebody is vengeful it means they’re seeking to harm someone in retaliation for a perceived injury. We are not supposed to return evil for evil. A vindictive person is a person who holds a grudge and always tries to get back at people who they feel have done an unpardonable sin. They try to get back at the other person in some manner.
When you sincerely apologize for the wrong you’ve committed against them and try to reconcile, instead of forgiving others, vindictive people retaliate against any insult or perceived slight
Vindictive people do not let things go. When we come to the church and confess our sins to the Lord Jesus Christ he forgives our sins and lets it go. He doesn’t even remember our past misdeeds but forgets them. That is the complete opposite of an unforgiving bitter heart. I truly believe thst the one who is unforgiving is hurting themselves more than others. When people in the church apologize you’ve got to be able to let it go and forgive otherwise it leads down the path of vindictiveness. It leads to bitterness which is incapable of letting it go.
God takes our sins and he lets them go. He casts our sins behind him never to be seen.
Another word today is implacable. An implacable person just cannot be appeased no matter what you do they cannot be appeased. Imagine offending your best friend and they’re upset with you and you’ve tried every kind of apology but she refuses to speak to you. You could describe her as implacable.
Romans 1:31
31 Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:
Our entire Christian faith other than the resurrection is based on forgiveness. It’s based on confession and admitting faults. It’s based on apologies and reconciliation and love and tenderness with each other. Without these things the only thing that’s left is to be unmerciful, implacable, unforgiving and unapologetic.
And as long as we’re on this verse, a covenant breaker breaks a solemn agreement between the members of the church to walk together in harmony with the teachings of scripture. In the church we are all supposed to believe the same thing. We are supposed to be of one mind. If we make a mistake on the way we can get forgiven and come to others and apologize but we are all supposed to believe the truth so that we can understand that we are in error and we’re doing the wrong thing.
What a covenant breaker does is they actively promote schism in their group. They are in opposition to what they once believed. A schism is a division. it’s a separation and discord and disharmony within a church group. Now the Apostle did not want any divisions at all in the church. We are all supposed to be united in the same beliefs.
A division or separation is not the way of Christ. Do you really believe people are going to be divided in heaven,.?
Again within the church there are not supposed to be divisions at all. In the church what we need to do is confess our sins to God and each other and forgive each other with a tender heart and reconcile. If there is truly forgiveness there’s not going to be a schism. If people accept the truth of the teachings of scripture there’s not going to be a schism. Let’s take a look at another word. It says merciless.
A merciless person shows no mercy or pity. If you describe someone as merciless it means that they are determined not to show any forgiveness to others. It means without mercy and pitiless, cruel and heartless.
1 Timothy 4:1-2
Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils;
2 Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron;
The conscience of what’s right and wrong in their own mind is seared. They don’t care about right and wrong anymore they don’t care about being forgiving with others. They’re filled with all these qualities being unmerciful an implacable.
Implacable people are constant in enmity and you cannot appease them no matter how much you apologized. They simply will not forgive and that will result in their bitter heart.
Before you can get forgiven you have to confess and admit your faults two others. I think it’s common sense it if you’re going to apologize and confess your sins to God you should apologize to people that you have wronged. The people in our passes today are not forgiving. In that state it will eventually lead to their downfall without repentance.
Matthew 6:14-15
14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
The Bible is quite clear on that. If you’re professing to be a Christian and you’re claiming to confess your sins to God and getting forgiven but you won’t forgive those who come and apologize to you he is not going to forgive you at all. If you cannot forgive other people when they say I’m sorry it leads to bitterness.
All of these definitions that we talked about here today have to do with a bitter heart and the results of people who will not forgive.
Bitterness is being resentful towards others because of a wrong that has been committed that you simply won’t forgive. What needs to be done when somebody apologizes is to forgive, get over it and reconcile. If you’re incapable of doing it that it’ll just eat you alive.
When you’re truly forgive other people from your heart you will become friends again and reconcile with each other. It’s about rejoining the division that has separated you because of an unforgiving bitter heart. So again today when somebody apologizes to you and says I’m sorry or says I repent and you don’t forgive them, it’s going to ruin your own life more than theirs. That’s a fact. It will wreck your life. God is not going to forgive you inside your heart. Ultimately the only way to get to heaven is through God’s forgiveness and Grace. If you don’t have forgiveness with God you’ll be shut out from Heaven someday. Before we go today let’s take a look at a couple verses.
Hebrews 12:15
15 Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;
We are perfected in love. Bitterness defiles that love.
Proverbs 20:22
22 Say not thou, I will recompense evil; but wait on the Lord, and he shall save thee.
Don’t avenge yourselves the Lord shall save thee.
Mark 11:25
And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
James 5:9 Grudge not one against another, brethren, lest ye be condemned: behold, the judge standeth before the door.
If somebody has apologized to you but you’re holding a grudge against them and you won’t forgive them God is not going to forgive you.
And also if you’ve wronged a brother you need to be reconciled to them in the church. If someone has gone through the trouble to rebuke you and to tell you that you’ve wronged them in some way or fashion then you need to be reconciled unto them and apologize. That is a command of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Don’t get caught up in bitterness. Learn to forgive people. The old saying is to hug and make up. Forgiveness is about moving on in life. I’m sure each of you have wronged others out there in the world at one time or another but they forgave you. Now it’s time to forgive those who have wronged you. True charity is seen through forgiveness.
That’s where we’re going to stop for right now but Lord willing will talk to you some more tomorrow till then bye-bye everybody
Teufer Lake King James Bible Church 