Keeping a Grudge

Good morning and welcome in today. Today we are going to talk about keeping a grudge.

James 5:9 – Grudge not one against another, brethren, lest ye be condemned: behold, the judge standeth before the door.

A grudge develops in your life because you won’t forgive other people when they apologize . In the church we learn that if your brother sins against you you are supposed to rebuke him and then if he repents you’re supposed to forgive him.

Think about when we make a mistake or sin against God and then we gi confess our sins to him. What does God do? He’s simply forgives us. God ceases to hold any grudge against us when we simply apologize and confess our sins to him.

A grudge is a result of not forgiving somebody else who has apologized to you. It’s a persistent feeling of ill will or resentment resulting from a past injury or an insult.

Persistent means to continue, or to exist and endure over a prolonged. of time.

When somebody approaches you and apologizes for wrongs that they have committed to you, God requires that you forgive them the same way he forgives you. When God forgives us he doesn’t hold any ill will towards us. These are things we’re supposed to have learned in the church already to treat others in a forgiving and merciful kind manner, without holding onto any bitterness or animosity.

What we are supposed to learn in the church to treat others is to be forgiving and merciful and kind to each other. Yo Willis animosity and bitterness.

If you bear somebody ill will it’s a strong feeling of disliking toward them. When you dislike somebody you’re truly not going to forgive them in your heart when they apologize. Somebody who doesn’t forgive others has a feeling of resentment toward the other party. There’s so much resentment there they’re unwilling to grant or allow forgiveness. Instead of forgiving they simply feel bitterness and indignation at the person who wronged them.

So again in the church if somebody wrongs you, you’re supposed to rebuke them. The next step is for the other person to apologize and confess faults. When we admit our sin before the Lord Jesus Christ he forgives us and we need to do that with others in the church.

If you cannot forgive others in like manner it will result in bitterness in your heart. It results in resentment. It results in animosity. God does not have those feelings towards us when he forgives. He ceases to remember our past.

A rebuke can be very sharp. One definition says an angry sharp disapproval of something that somebody has done to you.

That doesn’t mean that you’re bitter against them, You’re simply doing what God has commanded you to do. You’re supposed to rebuke those who hurt you.

Bitterness results when you don’t forgive. You rebuke them but when they apologize you simply will not forgive them. From that point, those feelings of being upset and offended just turn into bitterness, resentment and ill-will because you choose not to let it go.

As I’ve said many times in the past, when you have an unforgiving heart, it hurts you more than the other person. The reason why is you’re harboring hate instead of showing mercy.

A grudge is a feeling of anger and bitterness and resentment towards somebody for something that they did. When a person holds a grudge they are vindictive. What they want to do is get some kind of satisfaction and even enjoyment seeing the object of their hatred suffer. Instead of simply forgiving them and reconciling, a vindictive person shows a strong desire for some type of revenge.

A vindictive person may feel frustrated or hurt or ignored and they can’t change their circumstances so instead they lash out and they convert that pain into anger. They seek revenge by taking that pain out on others. That’s what happens when you don’t forgive people from your heart. You desire to punish them.

There are so many times out there in the world where young adults will come up and say I’m sorry I did that over and over again but their friend will simply turn away from them and walk the other way in school.

The next day they say it again, I’m sorry I did that please forgive me and they just keep turning away from them. They are so unforgiving that they try to figure out a way to get back at the other person for hurting them. That is a complete opposite of what we’re taught to do in the church.

Sometimes I think that’s what the nails represent at the Cross of Christ. We suffer at the hands of other people. We’ve been hurt by others but we take the nails. Christ suffered for us so that we could be forgiven.

The Lord Jesus took the suffering for our misdeeds upon himself. That’s what it means to bear one another’s burdens.

One of the definitions for vindictive that I found today is having or showing a wish to harm somebody because they hurt you, because you are unwilling to forgive them.

God wants us to be very very merciful and forgiving with each other when we admit sin in the church.

²¹ Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?

²² Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

God wants you to be this forgiving with others because He’s this forgiving with you when you confess your sins to him. Forgiveness is so important to God that he wants you to reconcile with others that you have wronged in the church before you even bring a gift to the altar.

When we admit fault to God and confess sins his forgiveness is immediate. It’s the same way he wants us to treat others in the church. He wants us to be that exact same way. So when you don’t forgive it will result in being vindictive.

Our God is a God of mercy and Grace,.. qualities that each of us want to possess in the church. Let’s look at some verses that have to do with forgiveness.

Mark 11:25 – And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

If someone hurts you, rebuke them. If they repent and confess their sin and admit their fault then you forgive them. This concept is not difficult to understand but it is difficult for people who are unforgiving and unmerciful.

Confession is required to get forgiven. You have to confess your faults to people that you have wronged in the church. If you don’t apologize and confess to God how would you ever be forgiven by Him? That is a requirement.

1 John 1:9 – If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Ephesians 4:32 – And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

Here is a warning from the scriptures.

Matthew 6:15 – But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

As I have said many times in the past, that is a pretty scary thought. Even when we partake of Holy Communion to wash away our sins through the blood of Christ,… the Lord teaches that if you’re not going to forgive others he is not going to forgive you. He extends to us his mercy and Grace. If you’re not going to show that same mercy and Grace to others, you yourself will not be forgiven by him.

Matthew 6:14-15 – For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:

In the church we are supposed to confess your faults one to another.

James 5:16 – Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

Luke 6:37 – … forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:

Colossians 3:13 – Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also [do] ye.

A quarrel is a heated argument or a disagreement. When somebody wrongs you and you rebuke them, it can result in a very heated argument. If the person apologizes then you need to forgive them. If people can’t forgive and they can’t say I’m sorry, how can you profess to be a Christian?

Quarrels and arguments are a part of life in general. Even certain disciples had very strong disagreements with each other. Sometimes you speak the most passionately about the things that you are most upset about. Jesus went in the temple and was so upset He made a scourge. Wait till you see what happens at judgement day!

God wants us to be forbearing and forgiving with each other in the same way that Christ is with us.

Psalms 103:10-14 – He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. 

So God takes our punishment away.

Proverbs 10:12 – Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.

If you really care about other people and they approach you and apologize, you will forgive them. That’s why in the Lord’s prayer, we ask Him to forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Be forewarned, if they apologize and you will not forgive them, God will take vengeance on that.

You cannot change the past. You cannot change the sins that you have committed, or the sins that have been committed against you. But I do know with all my heart something each of us can do.

We can forgive each other. We can block out the past and delete it and erase it from our memory.

Why relive an event over and over each day that was committed in the past, that somebody has already apologized for. Why continue to be resentful, vindictive and holding onto a grudge?

I’ve learned over many years of life it’s so much easier to just say I’m sorry to God and to others. Love is capable of saying I’m sorry.

The Christian faith is about learning to apologize and learning to forgive and forget. It’s learning to make up with each other and reconcile. Forgive others when they apologize and don’t hold a grudge. Remember, Jesus is watching you.

That’s where I’m to stop a right now but Lord willing will talk to you some more tomorrow till then bye-bye everybody.