Marriage duties 1

Good morning and welcome in today. Today we’re going to take a look at some scripture from 1st cor 7.

Beginning at verse 1 the Apostle says,..

Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

² Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

First of all he teaches that it is good for a man not to touch a woman.

Remember that marriage is something that is meant while here upon the Earth. People are not going to be married in the Kingdom of Heaven. The Apostle Paul was a confirmed bachelor, but he also understood that not everybody had the same gift as he did.

Speaking about our flesh, some of us have stronger hormones than others. To avoid fornication, every man is supposed to have his own wife. Note what he says, his own wife.

To own something means to have and hold as ones personal possession. You might go out and buy a new car and then you get a title for it and then you own, it belongs to you. You might go out and purchase a home and now that property is yours, it belongs to you. That is the same thing with marriage.

In a marriage you belong to the other person. Every man can have his own wife and that goes the same for a woman, she has her own husband, her own, meaning he belongs to you.

Verse 3 teaches….

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

Benevolence is an act of kindness or a good thing. God created sexuality. It was meant to be enjoyed between a man and a woman who are married. It was meant to be enjoyed in a private relationship in their bedroom. The husband is supposed to render unto the wife due benevolence.

As far as sexuality is concerned, a wife during certain periods of her life may be very very needy. A man needs to submit to her physical needs in the bedroom. What you are doing is doing her a kindness by alleviating her burning desire. The wife is supposed to do the same thing unto the husband.

He may be filled with desire for you and you need to allow yourself to be enjoyed by your husband in the bedroom. You’re doing a kindness by doing this. If a wife is hungry the husband goes out and works and brings home food to provide for her needs. It’s the same thing in the bedroom. She needs to provide for his needs as well. That shows you love and care for them.

I’ve taught my family for 20 years that marriage is basically about sexuality. The reason why I say that is if there wasn’t any sexuality involved between two people there would be no need to be married to each other. You could just be friends. Marriage has to do with sexual desire and gratification.

Sexual relationships develop because you will find somebody else attractive physically or you like the color of their eyes or the shape of their face. That is physical attraction and sexuality. You do not have to be married if you are just going to be friends. Marriage is about a physical attraction to each other.

It’s a good thing because it results in children grandchildren and families. They are the byproduct of physical sexuality. It is not required in the Bible to get married. It comes down to whether you can avoid living without it or not.

Fornication is consensual sexual intercourse between people who are not married to one another. This can result in adultery. People can abstain from all kinds of things like sexual relationships with others, from alcohol or sugar or even caffeine. Abstain simply means to restrain oneself from doing or enjoying something. In order to avoid fornication, God has provided us with marriage. You can have your own wife and a woman can have her own husband.

Marriage is about making a choice that you’re going to be faithful to the person for the rest of your life. It’s being faithful and loyal until death do us part. You’re making a commitment to be with one person. Once again marriage is about sexuality. If it wasn’t, you could just be friends but marriage is more than friends. It is about being one flesh and united together with each other for the rest of your lives in the bedroom.

V4 the Apostle says..

The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife….

Power means control and authority. We are speaking about a sexual relationship in the bedroom. In marriage your body becomes the wife’s to enjoy, and vice versa. Think of this as an example.

Imagine a man desires his wife yet she won’t provide for his needs. What is a husband to do? The wife can lead the husband into a place of temptation because they are married and her body belongs to him to have to hold and to enjoy when he needs it. When she doesn’t allow herself to be enjoyed by him in that manner in the bedroom it can lead to all kinds of problems and difficulties.

What she is doing is taking control of her own body. In Christ’s church she has no authority to do so. She belongs to her man.

Likewise, the husband does not have power of his own body but the wife. If his wife has needs and desires in the bedroom, you must provide and take care of those needs. It really doesn’t matter if somebody is in the mood or not. In a marriage you become the other person’s object of affection and you want to please each other whenever needs arise. The reason why is you love and care about them and ultimately you married them.

Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

Defraud means to be deprived of something. When you are defrauded it means that somebody is taking away something from you that belongs to you. When you defraud someone else you are depriving somebody else of their their rights.

These things might happen out in the world, but are not supposed to happen in the Christian church. A Christian professes love for the Lord Jesus Christ. If your love is true for Him, you will keep his commandments, along with a husband.

The wife does not have power of her own body. You need to take care of each other’s desires and needs in the bedroom. What happens in the bedroom is kept in the bedroom. It is not to be shared with others. That is evil. It is a private discrete matter between the two of you.

You certainly don’t want to defraud each other. For example a wife may say that you can’t have me tonight or a man may say the same thing to his wife. That is defrauding your spouse. God created marriage for the reason of overcoming those kinds of desires, yet a spouse denies it. It’s not only unloving but its rebelling against Christ to do these kinds of things. That is not what you call benevolence. It’s simply a way of trying to punish sexually the other spouse for whatever the reason. Jesus chose not to punish us but to forgive us.

When you defraud your spouse of a relationship with you there are all kinds of other issues that can develop because of what you are doing to them.It’s a way of punishing sexually another person for whatever the reason. If you defraud somebody else, there’s all kinds of issues that can develop because of what you’re doing to them.

1 these 4:6

⁶ That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified.

A brother has a right to his own wife and when she deprives him of a relationship with her in the bedroom she is defrauding him.

To avenge simply means to punish somebody else for what they’re doing. In the bedroom if you both decide that you’re not going to have relationships for a while and you’ve agreed on that together, that’s fine. You can give yourself to fasting and prayer and that’s acceptable with God.

But God does not want a spouse to lead the other into temptation. That is what the devil did to Christ in the wilderness. There has to be an agreement on both sides. It can’t be one-sided because you can’t defraud the other just because you’re upset with them, that is sin. Things like that result because of vindictive behavior in the bedroom. It’s not love for the other person.

If you both decide to give up sexuality for a while together because it’s of a joint agreement then you can come together again that Satan tempt you not for your incontinence.

Incontinence he is having a lack of something. Incontinency is having an incapacity to hold back and to restrain because you have a great desire for something. When that’s the case, you cannot deny your spouse a sexual relationship with yourself.

Sexuality can be used as a weapon against the other person in a marriage. That is completely sinful in the eyes of God. It’s depriving somebody else of love. The devil hates love and does not want to walk in love. As the Apostle taught, we are not ignorant of his devices.

The Apostle Paul was not commanding people to go out and get married.

⁶ But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.

⁷ For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.

⁸ I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.

If you are unmarried, you don’t have a spouse. If you are a widow you don’t have a spouse. If you don’t have a spouse then it’s good to remain as the Apostle Paul having no desire for sexual relationship with another person. When you’re married, that is a whole different story.

The whole point and purpose of marriage is to have sexual relationships with each other. That is what God provided marriage for.

⁹ But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

God doesn’t want us burning with sexual desire. He has provided marriage as a way out and a way to relieve us of that. He has provided marriage in the bedroom as a way out of burning sexual desire. This is why you are not supposed to defraud each other in a marriage. God does not want the other party to burn with desire and for you to deny them that right in that relationship when they married you.

¹⁰ And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:

This is a command from Christ Jesus. It’s the same as Thou shalt not kill or don’t shalt not bear false witness. They are all commands of the Lord.

Just because you tell somebody to do something doesn’t mean they’re going to do it. It just reveals the rebellious nature. God hates rebellion.

A wife is not supposed to leave her husband and walk off and abandon him. If she does so she’s sinning against Christ. A wicked person will always try to justify their sin instead of saying that they were wrong.

If a wife departs from her husband she is rebelling against him and the teachings of Jesus. Rebellion is like the sin of witchcraft in the eyes of God. If she loves Jesus she will obey Christ’s commands and her husband’s. If you love and serve others, who’s going to hurt you? Obedience pleases people just like obedient children please their parents.

If she depart, (which means if she’s going to disobey Christ and be rebellious) then let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband and let not the husband put away his wife.

The husband no matter what he goes through shows his faithfulness and love towards her by not putting her away. Even though she takes off and does something so terrible to him. Departing from the husband is such a terrible thing that she can never get remarried again. Even if her husband was to pass away. She is supposed to remain unmarried. If she cannot be faithful to her own husband, she’s not going to be faithful to the next one either. A marriage is about faithfulness and loyalty to your husband and faithfulness to Christ and the Christian church.

Love one another. Be good to each other and forgiving with each other. Work things out and reconcile because ultimately Jesus reconciles us to God the Father. What God has brought together in marriage, let no man put asunder.

Don’t cause the other party to suffer in the marriage. Forgive and forget. Love each other and be good to each other because this pleases Christ.

I think that’s where I’m a stop for right now but Lord willing I’ll talk to some more tomorrow so then bye-bye everybody